The Hopeless Romantic

[ Journal Entry ] as written by Mary Jo Kate.

Date : April the 21th of 2017

I don’t claim to know much about love, but without reasonable doubt though, I can say I know a whole lot there is to know about my love life... emphasis on the word “my”.

I’ll give this to you for free, my love endevours meh! not much to write home about ; unless ofcourse we’d consider a trial of (Ill-chosen) misfits worthy of the title “dates” … then well yeah, I guess we can say I have a story to tell.

Now enough of the poetry, here’s what’s up

Hopeless romantic… ever heard of that word before? My guess is yes! Now I’m sure some of ya’ll out there ought to be just like me; we hear/read this catchy word being used once and almost instantly register it to our vocabulary ready to make use of this boujie-like sounding word the second we get a chance to flex our corny side.

image

See, up until the past 19yrs of my life, I always thought hopeless romantic is a means-as-its-read piece of literature. Like why should life be soo complicated?

Q. What’s Hopeless Romantic?
Me: You are pathetic and hence useless/hopeless when it comes to romance.

But then this thingie called google happened to humanity and proved me dumb

Q. What’s Hopeless Romantic?
Google: A hopeless romantic is an expression describing a person who has romantic notions about life. For a hopeless romantic: life = love. Especially when that person is involved in a relationship – He/she thinks about love and romantic relationships in a different way than other people.

Okay so we can give google the credit for trying to make me sound better than I really am, because I do consider myself a hopeless romantic … only difference is that I am indeed HOPELESS! I Ain’t Playing :

#Exhibit 1
The Neat-Freak

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Jimmy was a good guy, the one you take home to papa and will instantly gain approval of my paps just because of one tiny important detail; he knew the essence of using a belt unlike all dem other kids from the 90’s (he don’t sag his pants)
And Ma would fall deeply in love with this guy’s neatness she’ll fail to see any vices in Jim’s character.

—Jury decision —
But yo, who in the world has color-coded underwear in their closet, that get ironed before being worn?!?
DENIED

#Exhibit 2
The D*ck

Larry, for lack of a better clean vocabulary to use was a completeΒ  dick!
He was the flashy type, with his cheap ass sneakers on and fake Ray Ban glasses acting all punked up, always fishing for a compliment each time we met over a 1dollar 99 cent ($1.99) buffet.

—Jury decision —
I’d rather take the next bus to hell and come back cycling than spend a life-time with him… anything to just get away!
DENIED

#Exhibit 3
Mr.Goodie-too-shoes

image

Daniel was the perfect recipe for a boring, monotonous, repetitive, average, routine, common boyfriend. Now I’m not saying books are lame,Β  but he was just a smart fart. You can train anyone to be well book smart, but life in particular my life, needs more stimuli.
I’m naturally smart, my grades are up, so with that regard I guess thats why I can relate with Danny, BUT

—Jury decision —
Were I to be stranded in an empty island, Danny would most likely be the first person to not bring with me. ‘Coz I’d rather die of hunger&acidity rather than boredom
DENIED

#Exhibit 4
The Rapper Wanna be

Being cool is cool… but trynna act cool is just lame (sorry!)
And trust me I can smell an imposter from a mile away. Boy don’t be hitting on me with some “fabricated black guy accent” told Ricko several times to stop twining when around me… the dude couldn’t listen!
“… aight”
” Fo sho’ “
” shawty “

—Jury decision —
Who you playing Ricko?? You ain’t African-American you fraud niggar!
DENIED

#Exhibit 5
“Big Boy on Campus”

image

Tito, too hot to handle to cool to leave. He was actually really pretty, and believe me its quite near to impossible that I give compliments nonetheless to a guy!

He was the type of guy all other boys want to be and all the ladies want to be with. The attention he got because of his killer looks and ripped bod, was the reason I bowed out reasonably from the relationship.

—Jury decision —
Nothing against Tito but… I kinda want to be the only cute one in bed. So once again…
DENIED

STORY OF MY LIFE ; Didn’t I tell you I was hopeless? Now you clearly can see why! πŸ™‚

Share and Hit that Like button and let me know what you think in the Comments section below.
Remember to keep Reading, Smiling And stay Joyous and Inspired Always πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

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