’20’ Is The Golden Year

It’s Summeeeerrrr ya’ll! 
The sun is out, we get to put on ’em shorts and shades as we soak in these rays in our two-piece 😉 mahn! what a time to be alive 🙂 🙂

So yes. I know. It’s been crickets up in here. 

Haven’t posted in a while; but you know life just happens and as writers we go through the dreaded periods of writers’ block… So I hadda take a creative  break but now my mojo’s back on. Yay!

Being an adult is hard work (you should totally take my advice seriously, I was 19 a month  ago) 

Idk do you guys date at all? Like in this day and age is dating still a thing we do? I mean I don’t date. As a matter of fact haven’t dated yet. See there is this genius webseries a friend of mine got me hooked on ToughLoveSeries – Just type that in the youtube search engine to have a look. Trust me it’s superb! They got nominated for a daytime Emmy, so it’s a big deal!

And in this show one of characters –Alicia – said and I quote:

Black guys don’t do the we are now exclusive thing. They love to say “we’re talking” like, what does that even mean? My boyfriend and I were talking for way longer than we should

Listen, relationships are complex and each one has a different experience so I ain’t one to judge where or at what stage you draw the line between just talking and full on dating… Food4Thought?

So one night I was “talking” ( lol! Literally we were sitted looking at the stars. Haha Ikr? Boujie sh*t) to this guy I know who is no longer in my life. And he taking me through the typical stages of a girl’s life. He talked of this timeline that to him represents the classic traditional woman. By that I think he meant she wasn’t no extreme man-hating feminist; moderately career oriented; wanted a family; believed in destiny and eternal love. 

So he said.

At 18 she’s a teenager. At 19 she begins to notice her feminine features and starts acting lady-like and is consious of how she dresses. At 20 still being a lady. At 21 now she starts thinking about her dream wedding. At 22 about this time she’s graduating from college. At 23 she’s RSVP all the parties and is living life hard and wild. At 24 she realises she needs some stability finds a job and moves out of her parents house. At 25 Oh boy! Her clock is ticking she starts being strategic with the men she dates and marriage is her priority.

Cool story bro. 

But why we hatin’ on 20 tho? What’s still being a lady? Like she was trans or something before?

He clearly didn’t have much to say about 20yr olds. Almost to assume they just but a passage/transition period to the next! But we matter too.

20 is bountiful to say the least

*I’ve had my first “job” and made my first penny.

*I’ve first hand experienced the frustration that comes with selling someone a product.

*I’ve made a significant stride in my career

*I’ve grown more in my spiritual faith

*I’ve made mistakes and bad choices in my “talking-ships” and learnt from that.

And in general I’ve just gotten rid of soo much BS and focused on what I want in my journey through life.

But then again I do feel that timeline above, is so narrow-minded. Although in a way when I sat down and thought about it it does represent most women. Women wanting to live that normal life. 

But heck there are those of us who dare to go against the grind. Beat the mould and be ambitious. ‘Cause to him his definition of 20 is far left to mine so yeah! 

Scratch that. Be you. There isn’t one way to live life.



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