This is where beauty went wrong

‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’… I won’t lie this here is one of those phrases I was taught in grammar class but hadn’t really understood what it meant – atleast at that time when I was like 13yrs. But you don’t question the teacher, right?  Or the book; Or the authors of the book; Or the origin of where the people who wrote the book really is : Nope you do not! God forbid you dare, you just take it as it is and somehow it’ll make sense … as for me this particular one didn’t then, and hasn’t yet up until now!


See here’s why I have a problem with this : if something is physically attractive or good to look at, it remains to be that way regardless of whether you are attracted to it or not! Finding something that admires you is one thing, however being drawn towards it is another.

|”k, so where are we headed with this?” *SIGH* | I hear you asking yourself.

Continue reading “This is where beauty went wrong”

A generation of Fads

So someone once challenged me and told me the internet has been a breeding ground of “narcissistic intelligence”… being the hardnut that I am, there had to be a heated back-and-forth before I was totally convinced about this matter ( I always crave a good debate; and the opportunity presented itself).

Who’s a narcissist?

A habit in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others.

Strictly, it’s used to mean being self-absorbed and having an inflated opinion on ourselves and our capabilities… not to be confused with self esteem, but there’s a thin line separating the two extremes. Being confident is good but being cocky about it is another.

So back to this altercation I had, it does seem true to say we are ignorant with our online ‘persona’ : We give savvy political commentary on twitter debates and forums; take part in “big talks” on facebook groups and pages so as to inflate our up-to-date knowledge; whenever we do come across a thought-provoking article online we leave comments that are well written full of linguistics to prove we are well articulate and word smart!


And all for what?!? The praise and status quo we believe we have. And yes this is narcissistic of us since we only give this much effort because the internet helps distant ourselves from the reality we live in… so we feel safe to be a ‘somebody’ to other nobody(s) we know nothing about and who wouldn’t otherwise know the person we really are… it’s a feel good mind illusion. And don’t roll your eyes at me we both know that’s true myself included. Just that act of having an active online presence has the power to make us feel we are greater than what we are. Feel more knowledgable than our intelligence allows of us.


A false sense of importance

On Social Media
I decided to quit all social media activity 3yrs ago since I realised it was a constructive way of wasting my life. It took a little bit of maturity and common sense to see just how much of my time I was investing in meaningless stuff. Time that at the time,  I would have used on improving myselfrather than on gaining more IG followers and posting happenings of my life that were of no use to other people. But whether this is anything to me or not… this is the culture of our generation today.

~The millennials 15 to 29 year olds of this day and age

We are head over heels on “improving” and “maintaining” our social media image so as to meet the cut on what society values good/worthy.

It’s a TOTAL frenzy!!! No, you don’t look anything like those picture perfect selfie photos... it’s all in the angle and image edits. No your 1Million instagram followers don’t give you real gravitation or fame… they are people who care less about who you are as a person and more about what you post for them to feast on! Those 500 facebook likes means you are popular… to a virtual reality crowd. And twitter? The followers… Do You personally know any one of them?


It’s a fad for christ sake. And this is what a fad is :

An intense and widely shared enthusiasm for something, especially one that is short-lived and without basis in the object’s qualities; a craze.

I think each demon is beautiful. So although all these false “personalities” we create leads us to fall prey to inferiority complexes … they do give meaning to how we relate to one other in society.


You’re either cool or lame; hot or not; smart or naive; street savvy or clueless; talented or average… this is what our society perpetuates. Labels and identities are the order of the day. See it as a blesssing or curse… just try not to lose yourself. #Live in your truth


Be authentic; It's important

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Remember to keep Reading, Smiling And stay Joyous and Inspired Always 🙂 🙂 🙂


Sequel to Dark Scar1

In my ‘DARK SCAR SERIES’ : I share periodic accounts of what the scars life has left on me mean to me and what I’ve learnt.


We all wanna hide our scars. Vexed by what they remind us of, we tend to conceal their remains. Bury the past in our past.

But our scars are what makes us. My scars (each and every one of them) mark an occurence in my life, that makes me. I may hide my scar, but who I am is what the scar holds true.


If anything, thy should wear thy scars on thy sleeves
…with pride. They are proof of how many times life knocked me over, but I got back up! Of what use would this life be if we have nothing to show of it?
I am strong: That’s why I have scars!
I’ve been fucked over a few times… but we saw me through!


As a matter of fact Imm’a place them on the tip of my forehead no chills! These scars tell a story; one that I can’t be ashamed of since it’s my own.

We ain’t done yet! Let’s get back to getting more of those scars… that’s how we’re sure life is happening to us.

           _End of Part One (2)_

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Truths To Highschooling

Time moves slowly, but passes by swiftly ~

It feels just like a while ago I was in my freshman periods through highschool.


Talk of fresh starts? … More like anxious states!
Anxious of the unknowns, social anxiety was easy to get succumbed to ; Ooh No but not for me (for others other than myself it could apply). See, being a people’s person is one of the things I thank the gods for! I’m good with people and I have a natural ablility to work and easily relate to different kinds of personalities (not to brag but I’m bragging 🙂 #JustSaying ).

So mingling and making friends was not as such topping my “Worry List”. Honey, I had other issues bugging me : Where’s the nearest place to get food? {‘coz gurl’s gotta feed} ; Do I know where my next class is gonna be? { Idk ’bout you? But have you conveniently spent the entire lesson time in an empty room thinking you were to have an actual class there? Yea, I had my fair share of these; owh And getting misplaced and lost allatime}

What I was constantly bothered by was fitting in! Don’t get me wrong you can do all the mingling good, but if you can’t get accepted by the pack… then you’re gonna have a problem! Which was in turn my problem, because I tend to be a people pleaser in a way. Always wanting everyone and anyone to like me… like why wouldn’t you like me?!? To me there was no reason not to! AT ALL


And methinks this yarn for acceptance is universal. Inclusive but NOT limited to high school going peers. I cleared school around June this year, so memories of it still linger on – hangovers. The highs&lows, The drama&realism, The fun&cruelty, The tears&laughter.

I’ve been there, Done that, Left doing it… And bought a t-shirt

Listen, you are at your prime age during secondary school. That’s where all the magic happens… the growing, the discovering, the learning and finding who you are as an individual. You mold your character accordingly by making the right choices. And peer influence is REAL too!

I reckon at some point I was torn on who I should be/how I should act in order to gain acceptence in the eyes of my peers. #TheStruggleIsReal I tell you. I cocooned my vibrant personality and the ‘real me’ in order to be who they wanted to see in me. This is one of the biggest mistakes I made. Luckily I grew past this and with time I matured and began living in my truth.


So looking back at it all (now) , Here’s some truths I’d want to tell my 15yrs old self fresh from middle school.

1. Sieze the day – Carpe Diem! –and take up as many chances and opportunities as they arise because 20yrs from now you’ll be more disappointed at the things you didn’t do than those you did do!

2. Make an experiment of yourself.


Try new things out and never shy away from things that are well off your comfort levels. Or those that seem new to you. You’ll never know if you don’t try.

3. People will always have something to say no matter what you do! People’s opinion on issues is life lived through their eyes. Customised and biased by past experiences. But they aren’t you, are they? So be you with no appologies!

4. Nothing lasts… sadly even the friendships we made were not guarnteed to stand the test of time (mine didn’t, did yours). So socialize extensively but keep focus. You’re not in it together, you are in it collectively on your own.

5. It’s NOT a Popularity Contest... If it were we’d select a winner, but we didn’t! If you have to put a bushel over your own verson of you (the aunthentic you) ; you’ve got toxity to deal with.

6. When it’s all said and done life is all about making mistakes! Make many of them, you’re not the first to do so! Take lessons learnt, dust your knees and get back to making even more mistakes because it is in that that genius comes about.

7. Don’t take life too seriously ~ although it is. Let loose, laugh heartifully, love honestly, speak truthfully, live rightly, mingle freely. You know the motto yolo!


Look, let’s be real. High school is full of lots and lots of BS! It’s that optimal stage in life where we all flex our character muscles. Too much sass going around; plenty of oestrogen in the air… so then it goes without mentioning tensions and tantrums are gonna arise all around us. No doubt about that. But you gotta just deal… And when it feels like you can’t :

Just let Go
And let Go(d)

If there’s anything you’d pick up from this post just remember these words,

“You can never stand out if you are always trying to fit in

Those who mind don’t matter;
Those who matter don’t mind

Kim Kardashian I “HATE” YOU…

…Okay, Okay maybe HATE IS A STRONG WORD! I’m annoyed slightly. And I’m not annoyed at Kim herself … ironically it’s Kim’s weight I’m annoyed at!

Okay no hard feelings harboured here ; I mean the girl lost tons of pounds (70lbs to be exact) and she looks great! But then what implication does her dress size have on us? Kim being the famed popular queen that she is… what she buys, wears or weighs has its way of influencing how we perceive our own lives… Directly/Indirectly – if you are pop culture orientated like myself you know what I mean.

Kim flaunts her 125lbs at the VMA Red Carpet

But then do we honestly want her every body development literally thrown at our faces?!? No like seriously, they’re legit keeping tabs on her neck weight… literally speaking!


Kardashian is the epitome of perfection.
I discuss this in my popular post :  How socialite implies on us (read here)
Her eccentric and coveted beauty (so is her body figure) sort of dictates what’s good!
So while we all know having some meat to the bone is considered beautiful nowadays – *inside voices* Good Lord! When’s the butt revolution ever gonna halt? – what do you think should happen after the idol who mainstreamed curvacious bodies decides to shed it all off?

$h*t don’t add up right? ‘Coz the hell is gon’ happen to all de phat a**??

Since apparently thin is now the new sexy

beauty is being redefined and sampled by Kimberly.



And now to the fashion, ooh the fashion! So it’s not new that Kim is a major style icon and that she surely does influence a lot of the trends in the fashion game. Top Designers want to dress her; girls and fans alike want to wear what she clads too.

Being a bit on the “pair-shaped” size she caters mostly for the curvy lady. Figure hugging outfits that show off every hump and lump is what we know her for.

But now guess what? She’s skinny… so obviously she’ll change her mode of dressing to well suit her trimmed down body.

~Idk about you… but we’re indeed gonna be swiping that credit card to ‘Keep Up With This Kardashian’ ~


Me: Yea…She lost soo much weight lemme google a pic for you.
(I show her a picture on my phone screen)
My Friend: What?!? So this is her now? … how do you lose what you’re famous for?

That’s a convo I had a while back with another Kardashian enthusiast while watching a repeat episode of kuwtk on E! Network (Yo! girls will alway be girls :D)


So while it may sound totally absurd why someone else’s weight should be considered such a big deal (to even be worthy of a discussion) … those who know this star get it!

|Memo to Kiki|
–> So Kiks, what’s fit and healthy?
Should your relentless followers workout to pack on some extra pounds on the hips and derriere/ should they go on sugar diets to cut it off?
Is it cool to be thin/thick?
Should they be frustrated/content when the number on the scale goes down?

Girl, you are brewing some major chaos along the trail: Vegan; Gluten Free; Non-Dairy;Zero Cholesterol; Paleo Diets
(Some of which I have no idea what they really are; who knows what gluten even is??)
There’s gonna be a rise in the cases of forced anorexia! But NOT FOR ME! 

Im’ma just grab some popcorn and cotton candy while I sit back and wait to see all the outfits she’s gonna be rocking.
And I’m out ^peace^

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As to why caged birds plead


Symbolic Insight.
Up, up, and away they fly. Wuthering heights young, wild, and free without a worry in the world. These are birds.
Now picture an unfortunate caged bird. Caged by the freewill of another being, human, or inhuman like a clogged brush(in the wild) that has imprisoned it – causing it to sulk in dispair~ doomed!

Nothing’s more turning off in life than negative energy. Worse yet when it’s from another party.
From experience, I’ve resolved that patronising remarks and impressions posed to someone, especially on their health deeply sours with quick reflex. Just that |”___Cause Your Sick_”| no matter how faint or subtle goes a long way in damage.

Being friends with a Shizophernic girl I’ve known, I have had a perspective change of view on Mental&Psychological patients. I’ve come to appreciate that they’re not creeps or freaks; they’re just in a slippy conditions; and most of all it’s NOT THEIR FAULT!
Obscure monikers like ʹPsycho` and ʹSpecial` have long gone swept my tongue.

My friend once confessed that one major set back in her recovery procedure, is the treatment and attitude she has to deal with from immediate and distant people(aware of her condition) throughout her life. According to her, people’s outlook towards her and how she’s regarded in society, tips her more into relapses than actually her presiding health status.
She abhors and constantly denounces differenciality when it comes to how she’s seen and treated by others: “Am not a lesser or any different person than you are.”
/NO! They don’t need your Sympathy or Pity just your Understanding/

Mental/Psychological persons are like any other medical patients; On the contrary pills and doctrine suppliments don’t cure them. It’s all in their brains&subconscious mind. Feelings; Emotions; Moods and Thoughts: these are the ailing faults in need for cure. As you can see all these are intangible making the recovery procedure self-centered. It’s almost like they are their own doctors since, despite talks and advice given during physiotherapy and/or counselling, it’s down to One Man’s Island—individual treatment [hysterically, It’s every man for himself, to say the least]

Most of all, *Never judge or Pin-Point or Imply that their moral and behavioral misconducts are due to their mental state~this kill more than a stab in the temple.
Grand pounds of: ego, self esteem, self value, self worth and self image, are dragged in the mud and killed, by that foul and influential negativity.

Symbolic Insight.
Easen up the paws and claws and let the birdie go…Give the caged bird a reason to sing again.

#Raising_Awareness on behalf of all Mental Patients.

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Love is … a Diary Away!


Matters of the heart is something I never talk about openly (to anyone) ; but ya’ll not just anyone you are my readers buddies and Friends talk…

So today I’ll with all pride embarass my 14 year old self from the past.


By sharing what being smitten as a teenage girl is really all about – it’s some messed up awkwardness to say the very least… but see for yourself.

DATE : 03/04/2011
Dearly Beloved

You know, just thinking that one day one time in a place I know not of; I will meet you. Idk when or how we’ll meet one another, our first encounter and you know all that first impression stuff people talk about in dem movies… Ooh heck! Maybe I already HAVE met you. And maybe even spent some time with you, LOL funny right?

But owh well who knows… it’s just in the stars. Speaking if which: I’m GEMINI (Heey)   😉
Wonder what your horoscope sign is Aquarius Aries Picies? Humm how I wish.


All this thinking and fantasising… and dreaming and wishing I had a bae right about now gets me thinking. Don’t wanna waste my precious time
squander my hopes and dampen this my fresh head

I don’t wanna waste my: Passion ; Love ; adoration ; eternal romance on some savage of a guy!

Tbh it’s not like I’d wanna have a boyfriend – well again it’s partly true though. I NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON just meee atm. School life, career, my ambitions and set my priorities out straight. Plainly I really wanna just find myself and in the near forseen future, end up Finding you my love!!


Where are you? What’s your name? Watcha doing? Have you seen me? Ever noticed me? Waddup! Where you at love? Huh (sigh) !
I just hope you keep yourself good and cute 😉 for me. And I will love you today just as I will forever!

Patiently|hoping|to cheerish|
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In my ‘DARK SCAR SERIES’ : I share periodic accounts of what the scars life has left on me mean to me and what I’ve learnt.


Here I am.
If we all had a choice… to be what we want to be. Wouldn’t life not be worth living? Okay just imagine, no working no struggling; just mere achievements. It’ll be like no pain no gain will have been overrulled.

Well having lived with a close person I know (who lives in a shadow), I realised that sometimes getting what we want can turn into a soul tormentor if not achieved. He lives with a dark scar of dumpened dreams. Sort of like living under a  shadow of regrets mixed with bitterness. Well it isn’t entirely his fault… other factors incorporated too.

Having a dream in which he looked up to when he had the innocence to; and watching events that unfolded that proved it a futile plan- only brought up one thing bitterness.

           _End of Part One (1)_

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