Diary of a promiscuous woman – Why you couldn’t bag me!

Thur, Dec 28

People will tell you it starts with that first look. The locking of eyes, as we hold one anothers gaze. Staring deep into me as if digging into my soul and blah blah blah yada yada They lived happily ever after (child please *rolls eyes*)

Skanks will probably tell you men are trash but guess what, women can equally be as trashy. 

We can’t fully blame her for having the wondering eye, remember every demon was once in heaven before being kicked out, pun intended.

If there’s anything I’ve come to learn this year about love is that everyone has a story. Things don’t just happen in our lives from nowhere fahm patterns determine the final sketch.

(Meet Tati

the one everyone liked and admired but no one claimed her as their girl. Don’t get me wrong there wasn’t anything off about her, just that no one could figure her out. A good girl. Sweet girl with a twist to her)

Tue, Feb 14

Candle lit dinner, rose flower vase before me, you got me smiling ear-to-ear overlooking this phenomenal sunset view in our favorite restaurant in town. Why are you too good? Infact why are you soo perfect? You always treat me exactly how I’ve envisioned an ideal partner to me would be… am I tripping over nothing?

Then I start getting into my head and playback all the incidences my ex did all the right things just to drop me eventually disregarding all the magical moments like these that we shared. 

I’m just waiting for the other shoe to fall, only this time it was mine that fell and not yours.

Wed , Feb 15

From uptown estate Runda down to Umoja I’m out here driving fast in time for morning glory 😉 from my Big Daddy Taco. See it was Valentine night people, V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E as in day for the lovers; prime time to have sex! But unfortunately my dinner date didn’t get the memo! He wasn’t trying to pipe… but I was

No need to explain the obvious but my Big Daddy Taco was big enough by the time I knocked on his shady neighbourhood gate and gracious enough to finish off what my slacker date left undone

But Taco wasn’t tripping over nothing. He knows a classy woman like me with my shit together wasn’t about to be wifed by his likes.

Fri, May 5

Hon. Mr. Kalu was my type. No question about that! & yes Hon. to mean he’s in the government sitting on our countries wealth & Mr. cause he a married man

But do I care? I normally don’t finness I’m not the finnessing type ’cause I can afford to pay up all my bills and my mama’s and your mama’s and her mama’s … you get the point, right?

But with Mr. Kalu came power and respect. With money comes riches (which I had plenty of already) but being known to be the Governor’s ring girl means authorised access and VIP treatment whenever I was with him. He was a drug that kept me on bedrest, yes doc, more please 😉 

Wed, June 7

The dj has this mixtape on point mehn! He hitting my music G-spot good ’cause judging by the way I was breaking my back at this Nicki anthem he knows I aint playing. 

I’m all in my feelings rapping word-on-word to Lil Wayne’s “tapout” then I look over my shoulder and some drapper dressed tuxedo-shirt dude trying to move to me. Holl’up, first you are ridiculously dressed coming to a club bro, like did you forget the broad meeting at 9pm or something? 

Drink in my hand and channel purse on my arm he knows his sleek looks don’t give him a pass if he trying to off-pant after this rave… so he slides his credit card and bites his lower lip at me, wrong move shrink, wrong move! Not tonight you can’t! I was in a foul mood since morning after my boss breathed hot air down my gut for missing a deadline at work and then this idiot moutain picks today to slut shame me? He got another thing coming and he wasn’t going to like it. 

I threw the drink at his face, slapped him hard then I …  I just realised I can’t finish the story I may end up in jail 


I will be uploading the 2nd half of my “Diary of a promiscuous woman” blog series soon. 

Happy Holidays Love 🙂

And a year filled with abundance