Diary of a promiscuous woman – Why you couldn’t bag me!

Thur, Dec 28

People will tell you it starts with that first look. The locking of eyes, as we hold one anothers gaze. Staring deep into me as if digging into my soul and blah blah blah yada yada … They lived happily ever after (child please *rolls eyes*)

Skanks will probably tell you men are trash but guess what, women can equally be as trashy. 

We can’t fully blame her for having the wondering eye, remember every demon was once in heaven before being kicked out, pun intended.

If there’s anything I’ve come to learn this year about love is that everyone has a story. Things don’t just happen in our lives from nowhere fahm patterns determine the final sketch.

(Meet Tati

the one everyone liked and admired but no one claimed her as their girl. Don’t get me wrong there wasn’t anything off about her, just that no one could figure her out. A good girl. Sweet girl with a twist to her)

Tue, Feb 14

Candle lit dinner, rose flower vase before me, you got me smiling ear-to-ear overlooking this phenomenal sunset view in our favorite restaurant in town. Why are you too good? Infact why are you soo perfect? You always treat me exactly how I’ve envisioned an ideal partner to me would be… am I tripping over nothing?

Then I start getting into my head and playback all the incidences my ex did all the right things just to drop me eventually disregarding all the magical moments like these that we shared. 

I’m just waiting for the other shoe to fall, only this time it was mine that fell and not yours.

Wed , Feb 15

From uptown estate Runda down to Umoja I’m out here driving fast in time for morning glory 😉 from my Big Daddy Taco. See it was Valentine night people, V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E as in day for the lovers; prime time to have sex! But unfortunately my dinner date didn’t get the memo! He wasn’t trying to pipe… but I was

No need to explain the obvious but my Big Daddy Taco was big enough by the time I knocked on his shady neighbourhood gate and gracious enough to finish off what my slacker date left undone

But Taco wasn’t tripping over nothing. He knows a classy woman like me with my shit together wasn’t about to be wifed by his likes.

Fri, May 5

Hon. Mr. Kalu was my type. No question about that! & yes Hon. to mean he’s in the government sitting on our countries wealth & Mr. cause he a married man

But do I care? I normally don’t finness I’m not the finnessing type ’cause I can afford to pay up all my bills and my mama’s and your mama’s and her mama’s … you get the point, right?

But with Mr. Kalu came power and respect. With money comes riches (which I had plenty of already) but being known to be the Governor’s ring girl means authorised access and VIP treatment whenever I was with him. He was a drug that kept me on bedrest, yes doc, more please 😉 

Wed, June 7

The dj has this mixtape on point mehn! He hitting my music G-spot good ’cause judging by the way I was breaking my back at this Nicki anthem he knows I aint playing. 

I’m all in my feelings rapping word-on-word to Lil Wayne’s “tapout” then I look over my shoulder and some drapper dressed tuxedo-shirt dude trying to move to me. Holl’up, first you are ridiculously dressed coming to a club bro, like did you forget the broad meeting at 9pm or something? 

Drink in my hand and channel purse on my arm he knows his sleek looks don’t give him a pass if he trying to off-pant after this rave… so he slides his credit card and bites his lower lip at me, wrong move shrink, wrong move! Not tonight you can’t! I was in a foul mood since morning after my boss breathed hot air down my gut for missing a deadline at work and then this idiot moutain picks today to slut shame me? He got another thing coming and he wasn’t going to like it. 

I threw the drink at his face, slapped him hard then I …  I just realised I can’t finish the story I may end up in jail 

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I will be uploading the 2nd half of my “Diary of a promiscuous woman” blog series soon. 

Happy Holidays Love 🙂

And a year filled with abundance 

I’m not the other woman in his life – she is

​It’s soo good! Soo damn good when it’s on

Yet we both feel compelled to deny it

Deny one another the very thing we want from each other

The thrust, the push&pull, my back against the wall, your hot breath down my kneck… oh Lord have mercy

You ask her out for drinks after work, tell her you miss her when indeed all you’re really saying is – here’s a peace offering for how guilty I feel to be slowly pulling away from you

The unspoken language we speak. How your lips say you want me to leave, “It’s past midnight you need to go” Yet the satisfaction in your eyes scream, “I don’t want you to go, stay put right here in this Eutopia we made for ourselves”

She’s super excited, her skin practically glowing with joy as she tells you all about her cousin’s wedding which you couldn’t attend together with her because you were too committed. Of course you were… between the sex and late night dates, secret hangouts under the moonlight filled with romantic gestures and spicy private whatsApp conversations… you were bound to be extra committed to do anything

I don’t need to ask whether you miss me, whether you want me back, because from a distance I’m observing your mannerisms and I can tell all that I need to know from it

How you’d wish I was the one sitted across that table

That it was my smile you had to look at

My voice you would listen to

The smell of my body spray you could inhale…

But NO! 

You have to play make-believe for the duration of this date, which you clearly weren’t feeling anymore. Never has your vodka-soda tasted so plain. But in your heart of hearts you know the bartender isn’t to blame for that it’s me

A feelings soo magical yet poisoned

A love soo sincere and true yet taboo

A bond soo deep yet unexplainable

A situation soo crappy in our eyes yet soo perfect in our hearts

The reality we can’t live

GLAD YOU DROPPED BY 🙂

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’20’ Is The Golden Year

It’s Summeeeerrrr ya’ll! 
The sun is out, we get to put on ’em shorts and shades as we soak in these rays in our two-piece 😉 mahn! what a time to be alive 🙂 🙂

So yes. I know. It’s been crickets up in here. 

Haven’t posted in a while; but you know life just happens and as writers we go through the dreaded periods of writers’ block… So I hadda take a creative  break but now my mojo’s back on. Yay!

Being an adult is hard work (you should totally take my advice seriously, I was 19 a month  ago) 

Idk do you guys date at all? Like in this day and age is dating still a thing we do? I mean I don’t date. As a matter of fact haven’t dated yet. See there is this genius webseries a friend of mine got me hooked on ToughLoveSeries – Just type that in the youtube search engine to have a look. Trust me it’s superb! They got nominated for a daytime Emmy, so it’s a big deal!

And in this show one of characters –Alicia – said and I quote:

Black guys don’t do the we are now exclusive thing. They love to say “we’re talking” like, what does that even mean? My boyfriend and I were talking for way longer than we should

Listen, relationships are complex and each one has a different experience so I ain’t one to judge where or at what stage you draw the line between just talking and full on dating… Food4Thought?

So one night I was “talking” ( lol! Literally we were sitted looking at the stars. Haha Ikr? Boujie sh*t) to this guy I know who is no longer in my life. And he taking me through the typical stages of a girl’s life. He talked of this timeline that to him represents the classic traditional woman. By that I think he meant she wasn’t no extreme man-hating feminist; moderately career oriented; wanted a family; believed in destiny and eternal love. 

So he said.

At 18 she’s a teenager. At 19 she begins to notice her feminine features and starts acting lady-like and is consious of how she dresses. At 20 still being a lady. At 21 now she starts thinking about her dream wedding. At 22 about this time she’s graduating from college. At 23 she’s RSVP all the parties and is living life hard and wild. At 24 she realises she needs some stability finds a job and moves out of her parents house. At 25 Oh boy! Her clock is ticking she starts being strategic with the men she dates and marriage is her priority.

Cool story bro. 

But why we hatin’ on 20 tho? What’s still being a lady? Like she was trans or something before?

He clearly didn’t have much to say about 20yr olds. Almost to assume they just but a passage/transition period to the next! But we matter too.

20 is bountiful to say the least

*I’ve had my first “job” and made my first penny.

*I’ve first hand experienced the frustration that comes with selling someone a product.

*I’ve made a significant stride in my career

*I’ve grown more in my spiritual faith

*I’ve made mistakes and bad choices in my “talking-ships” and learnt from that.

And in general I’ve just gotten rid of soo much BS and focused on what I want in my journey through life.

But then again I do feel that timeline above, is so narrow-minded. Although in a way when I sat down and thought about it it does represent most women. Women wanting to live that normal life. 

But heck there are those of us who dare to go against the grind. Beat the mould and be ambitious. ‘Cause to him his definition of 20 is far left to mine so yeah! 

Scratch that. Be you. There isn’t one way to live life.

GLAD YOU DROPPED BY 🙂

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Trash_That_”Manuscript”

For real I dunno you guys… it’s like I get really sentimental and mushy each time I get a year older (take the hint here people!!)
😉

But wait a second, why is that though? I know other people who do this too, otherwise if left to me I’d just tell ya it’s ’cause I’m a dramatic psycho, but we can’t all possibly be psycho, soo…

See its something called the psychology of aging . As you get older you feel the sense of accountability: what do I have to show for my life? Then we get that nudge to look back at our lives and all those turning points in our pasts that have helped shape the individuals that we are today. Talk of a nostalgic bug? Am I right?

(Life gets crazy busy I have to admit… so my regular blog posting has been in this rut! But not to worry that creative writing mojo will come storming right in, in a few. )

A while back not soo long ago; I remember expressing to you all how I was at this state of dismay and confusion. I’d advice you read that post before hand, just incase you hadn’t.
(My) Identity Crisis
That way you’ll make much more sense of this post and it’ll give background to what I’m about to say here.

In hindsight, now that I reflect on it, I was most likely in a state of depressed but after working on myself and taking the time off to think soberly I came to this wonderous state of “deeper-rest” and never before have I felt better.

Since then I have been soaked in happiness, confidence, contentment, and this positive good vibes feeling.
It’s almost like “everyone’s rainbow appears after a storm”

There is this song lyric that goes a bit like

You’ll never know you are high until you feeling low

For us to really appreciate the good things we have in life we’ll have to hit rock-bottom and rise from those ashes. Totally reinventing yourself entire. That was sort of my rock-bottom I guess 🙂

The word manuscript is a lot like manual. A definitive pre-planned way of doing something, so to speak, I hope google concurs with me.

Observe all that surrounds you and your day-to-day life and interactions (stop and do it right now). Observe how society (however subtle) indirectly dictates the manner in which things should be done, so as to gain approval, or as they would tell you “meet the cut” or what’s “good enough”. Like where did this all go wrong… and get soo messed up!?!

Zoning in to my scenario I believe I was trying to conform, constantly sizing up and adjusting my nature (who I really was that I had abandoned) to be this person that I don’t even know, because of all that non-sense that was fed into my subconcious mind. Listen to me… that garbage can be stressful and frustrating as hell once you realise its never been (and never will be) a ONE SIZE FITS ALL type of world.

I had to press that reset button and start on a clean slate to really gain clarity and just dump that trash

for good (handy sessions of meditation and yoga played a part). I started to see where I was conviniently lying to myself and deceiving my identity to be something I was not – and frankly was never comfortable being. Then I started being true to Joyce  🙂 *that’s me btw* and let her raw self emerge. I did so unappologeticly and without excuses whatsoever. It was evident to people that I had significantly changed… but really all I became (or had become) was ME. And Goddamit it feels soo good. Soo good.
I just stopped caring. I just stopped giving a damn anymore how what I said/did was perceived.
And guess what? It paid off. I got to mend a couple of my close family relationships I had damaged in the past; I became more accepting of rejection and not feeling wanted; I became more aware of my feelings… and I just got rid of a lot of the BS in my life.

‘Coz Real Talk :
You know what?
When it all comes down to it, as you lay your head on that pillow for the night, all that matters is how you feel deep inside of you. Are you happy with yourself? Do you feel you’ve done all that it takes to make yourself happy? Are you living a lie (like I was evidently doing back then), or Are you walking in your TRUTH?

In this life that we live in the least you can do is:
Be you. Do you. For you.
             ______________

Feel free to share like and comment.
It’s always an honour to hear from you guys 🙂 🙂

Food for thought
What manuscript do you need to get rid of in your life?

The Hopeless Romantic

[ Journal Entry ] as written by Mary Jo Kate.

Date : April the 21th of 2017

I don’t claim to know much about love, but without reasonable doubt though, I can say I know a whole lot there is to know about my love life... emphasis on the word “my”.

I’ll give this to you for free, my love endevours meh! not much to write home about ; unless ofcourse we’d consider a trial of (Ill-chosen) misfits worthy of the title “dates” … then well yeah, I guess we can say I have a story to tell.

Now enough of the poetry, here’s what’s up …

Hopeless romantic… ever heard of that word before? My guess is yes! Now I’m sure some of ya’ll out there ought to be just like me; we hear/read this catchy word being used once and almost instantly register it to our vocabulary ready to make use of this boujie-like sounding word the second we get a chance to flex our corny side.

See, up until the past 19yrs of my life, I always thought hopeless romantic is a means-as-its-read piece of literature. Like why should life be soo complicated?

Q. What’s Hopeless Romantic?
Me: You are pathetic and hence useless/hopeless when it comes to romance.

But then this thingie called google happened to humanity and proved me dumb

Q. What’s Hopeless Romantic?
Google: A hopeless romantic is an expression describing a person who has romantic notions about life. For a hopeless romantic: life = love. Especially when that person is involved in a relationship – He/she thinks about love and romantic relationships in a different way than other people.

Okay so we can give google the credit for trying to make me sound better than I really am, because I do consider myself a hopeless romantic … only difference is that I am indeed HOPELESS! I Ain’t Playing :

#Exhibit 1
The Neat-Freak

Jimmy was a good guy, the one you take home to papa and will instantly gain approval of my paps just because of one tiny important detail; he knew the essence of using a belt unlike all dem other kids from the 90’s (he don’t sag his pants)
And Ma would fall deeply in love with this guy’s neatness she’ll fail to see any vices in Jim’s character.

—Jury decision —
But yo, who in the world has color-coded underwear in their closet, that get ironed before being worn?!?
DENIED

#Exhibit 2
The D*ck

Larry, for lack of a better clean vocabulary to use was a complete  dick!
He was the flashy type, with his cheap ass sneakers on and fake Ray Ban glasses acting all punked up, always fishing for a compliment each time we met over a 1dollar 99 cent ($1.99) buffet.

—Jury decision —
I’d rather take the next bus to hell and come back cycling than spend a life-time with him… anything to just get away!
DENIED

#Exhibit 3
Mr.Goodie-too-shoes

Daniel was the perfect recipe for a boring, monotonous, repetitive, average, routine, common boyfriend. Now I’m not saying books are lame,  but he was just a smart fart. You can train anyone to be well book smart, but life in particular my life, needs more stimuli.
I’m naturally smart, my grades are up, so with that regard I guess thats why I can relate with Danny, BUT…

—Jury decision —
Were I to be stranded in an empty island, Danny would most likely be the first person to not bring with me. ‘Coz I’d rather die of hunger&acidity rather than boredom
DENIED

#Exhibit 4
The Rapper Wanna be

Being cool is cool… but trynna act cool is just lame (sorry!)
And trust me I can smell an imposter from a mile away. Boy don’t be hitting on me with some “fabricated black guy accent” told Ricko several times to stop twining when around me… the dude couldn’t listen!
“… aight”
” Fo sho’ “
” shawty “

—Jury decision —
Who you playing Ricko?? You ain’t African-American you fraud niggar!
DENIED

#Exhibit 5
“Big Boy on Campus”

Tito, too hot to handle to cool to leave. He was actually really pretty, and believe me its quite near to impossible that I give compliments nonetheless to a guy!

He was the type of guy all other boys want to be and all the ladies want to be with. The attention he got because of his killer looks and ripped bod, was the reason I bowed out reasonably from the relationship.

—Jury decision —
Nothing against Tito but… I kinda want to be the only cute one in bed. So once again…
DENIED

STORY OF MY LIFE ; Didn’t I tell you I was hopeless? Now you clearly can see why! 🙂

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He was that guy

Ye Ni Yule Msee (Swahili translation of “He was that guy“)

You were that guy,
The one who swept me off my feet and took my breath away having not uttered a single word

You were that guy,
The one who succeeded in melting my cold-hard heart away by just being you in all your elements

You were that guy,
You made my knees weak, made them shake, made them tremble each time you called me by my maiden name through those thin sweet lips

You were that guy,
Your allure undeniablely irresistable to all the ladies

You were that guy,
You were a show-stopper whenever you walked in. Manly enough to startle me yet cute enough to make me flinch

You were that guy,
Who managed to make me speechless and shy almost stumbling over each word I said; a feeling my strong composed persona isn’t used to experiencing

You were that guy,
Who drove me *effing insane as I watched those muscles flex, that look on your face right before you shine a clumsy grin, the sparkle in your eyes when you argued passionately, how you licked your plum lips and flashed me a flirtacious smirk

You were that guy,
That I felt totally at ease with: A best friend; A goofy playmate; A confidante; The elder brother I never had; A partner in crime… my everything

You were that guy,
Gentle and caring was your adoration towards me. Heart-to-Heart was our version of One-on-One

You were that guy,
Who swore over all that our today shall remain our fowever. Who is it that gave my heart to you?? Seems to me you must have stolen that sh*t

You were that guy,
Who when the chase game was up, faded that ‘fake’ and shone your true colour upon me with all its rays! But Never did I mind the burning gaze. I loved it to pieces and didn’t complain… for it’s in those flaws that I fell for you more and more and more

You were that guy,
The one who neglected all the promises. Broke the trust. Betrayed our burning love. Traded my sincerity for a weakness. Shredded my heart and broke the soul you once cherrished

You were that guy,
That gave me the same lame break-up line we both heard in that George Clooney romance movie (from the 80’s) we watched that Friday night : “… look this isn’t about you it’s about me …” Really!?! Boy_Bye

You were that guy,
The one I didn’t give the satisfaction to see me cry. You was running your mouth as you always do giving me sweet nothings as I kicked you out of my appartment. I slammed that door behind me just as hard as your words had hurt me

But all that don’t matter to me anymore, wanna know why?? Because you’re exactly that… You were that guy,
Just not anymore

Good Riddance! 🙂

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Why Khlo-Money might be the ultimate reality star

The name Khloe Kardashian should ring a bell, if it doesn’t who are you and where have you been? That’s ’cause Kardashian is an established brand in itself. The kardashian-Jenner clan are a mogul force of beautiful successful women… or as others would put it “they are famous for being famous” and “have no talent” ; but you know whatever puts you to bed Felicia, is fine by us! They rich and ya’ll not, jealous much?

I’m a mad fan of their esteemed reality show ‘Keep up with the Kardashians’ (kuwtk), wouldn’t miss an episode for the world! 🙂 And though I watch them on small screen I almost feel like I know them personally… that feeling of being soo familiar with the show that you feel intouch upclose and personal with the actors, we’ve all been there a couple of times, yes?

But particularly with Khloe (Khlo-Money is the registered name of her company) I find the most likeable of them all. She’s my idol, and has been for quite sometime now. Simply because she kills it with her uumph attitude and her personality is just genius!

Read about Kim Kardashian HERE

Reality tv sells like crazyyy and it’s the new kid on the block. Talented individuals from Snooki (Jersey Shore) to Honey boo boo (Here Comes Honey Boo Boo) and Nene Leakes (Real Housewives Of Atlanta), all pay their dues to reality tv for jumpstarting their careers in the entertainment industry.

But I must agree it does seem rather doozy to be sat infront of your telly screen watching other people go about their life…

I’ve had somebody  snarlingly comment ~ “You sitted watching other people live their life!?!”
(Owh that statement made me sick to the stomach!) Like excuse my French, but I’m not some loser of a person who finds momentary satisfaction in following the over-hyped lives of these people! If anything they serving me with entertainment in form of an alternative, often fake, reality. The good, the bad through to the glitz and glamour.

I’ve been around the block and I’ve had my fair share of reality tv craze. And one thing I can tell for certain is that the success of any reality show depends mostly with relatability. Do the characters speak to the viewer? Or are they concurrent with my lifestyle? While still appealing to my fantasy sweetspot…

And with this I believe Khloè has nailed it with her audience BECAUSE :-

### She knows the struggle is Real!

Khloe has never shied away from talking candidly about her weight issues and fully documenting her transformation (Revenge body) on Kuwtk. Her struggle with weight and body shamers hits close to home with literally every single person. Insecurities are all too common – we all have them – so therefore having an icon show us that they too struggle resonates well with other viewers.

### She too faces Relationship sagas. Unlike many celebs who’d rather prefer to potray the perfect marriage/dating life… Khloe tells us it’s okay to be vulnerable. No relationship is perfect and hers isn’t an exception! Khloe lets us in on her highs&lows (with Lamar and her draining divorce battle) and proves it’s possible to have a smile on your face regardless of whatever you’re going through, and in the end come out stronger than before 🙂

### She lives the single lady’s dream! She got her mulla up; She balling on some higher level; And she owns her life (not dependent of any man)… what more would a lady want in this life? She samples the classic YOLO babe (3rd generation woman) and does so in the most tasteful way there is!

### She’s a jack of all trades.

Apart from her gorgeous looks, Khloe makes it clear to her fans she’s not just another pretty face out here… she got skill too! Her business savvy mind got her her own radio and tv talk show Kocktails With Khloe that was running last year before being cancelled (after 14 episodes). In addition her killer new show Revenge Body is currently showing on E! She also published a mind, body and soul guide by the title Strong Looks Better Naked. Girl does it all Yo!

### She got that killer bod…
Ooouuu…
Hello bootaayy!

#GOALS

She serving us motivation and envy all at the same time! She be sweating us headbands and gymtees tryna get a booty like that someday. The girls want it; The boys drool over it… eitherway it’s a win-win situation!

Did you like it?
Why not LIKE this post and share your views with me… Do you agree Khloè is at the top of her game?
Remember to keep Reading, Smiling And stay Joyous and Inspired Always 🙂 🙂 🙂

We Searching Elsewhere

“I’ve been here all along! What you be searching elsewhere for?”

We all yarn to be loved. To find that special someone who we feel once we have, life would be perfect!
So we try and fail;
Mix and choose;
Kiss a frog or two… or several;
Trying to find that missing jigsaw puzzle.

I’m a complete fanatic when it comes to romance novels! I love them almost more than breathing… Book boyfriend? Hell yeah! And it’s not just a teenager thing, they are awesome! So today I’ve decided to share this short romance piece I stumbled upon online, because it gives a different spin to the whole love idea. What if what we’re looking for is standing right there with us all along? We just too blinded by the chase!

Here goes…

I’VE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG
He’d expected this. He’d even hoped for it. But he still felt a twinge of —pity. She’d been stood up. Again. Here she sat, alone in an upscale restaurant, dressed in her favourite little black dress.

Kevin watched her reflection in a mirror and saw the sigh that gusted out of Catherine’s mouth and ruffled her hair as she sat back in her chair, closing her eyes.

It was time to make his move.

Before she became aware of his presence behind her, he cupped the back of her neck, his thumb caressing her just under her left ear. He felt her pulse leap, saw a smile burst across her face as she turned to look back over her shoulder. Kevin stepped up beside her and watched as her smile died.

Yanking herself away from his touch, she frowned at him. “What’re you doing here?”

Kevin just gave her a long-suffering look. Then, jerking his head, he said, “Come on. Let’s go.”

Catherine hunched a shoulder and turned her head away. “Get lost. I don’t need you to rescue me.”

He glanced at the two empty water bottles sitting before her and pulled a bill out of his wallet to leave on the table. Then he stood there for a moment, gazing at the top of her head, his mind juggling the usual spank her or kiss her debate. Under his breath, he said, “Yes, you do. And this time I’m going to do it right.”

In one way or another he’d been rescuing her since they were kids, and she’d always resented it. Whether as a pre-pubescent tomboy or the swan she’d evolved into, she’d been diving headfirst into catastrophes and he’d been reeling her out. And though until just recently —he hoped —she’d viewed him as nothing more than a bothersome big brother, he’d never considered her a sister.

Kevin’s problem was that every time he’d tried to tell her how he felt he’d muck it up, the result being she’d never believed him.

He reached down and started to pull her chair out from the table, the muscles of his arm flexing.

She didn’t surprise him. True to form, Catherine was stubborn and tried to dig her feet in, but after a brief struggle she must have realized it was pointless. With a sigh, she let him help her up and followed him out of the restaurant. They walked for a block without speaking, but he had no problem reading her thoughts. She had an expressive face and he’d been translating it for years.

Before long he was unlocking the passenger door of his car. “Come on. Get in.”

She pulled away from him, then turned and lifted her head and looked into his eyes, still not saying anything.

Kevin felt his lips twitch. “What? Still mad at me?”

She settled her butt back against the side of his car and shook her head, a sad look on her face. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at Mark. Mad at myself —or at least disgusted with myself.” His heart clenched as tears began to roll down her face. “What’s wrong with me, Kevin? Why is it so hard for me to find someone who will care about me once in a while, instead of thinking only of himself? Someone who can remember which night of the week is my night, and which night is the night with the guys.”

Taking a step forward, she settled herself against his body, her arms around his waist, the side of her face resting on his throat. His chin came down, and using it, he gently rubbed the top of her head while his arms surrounded her in a gesture of comfort and protection. Their movements were fluid and natural, as if they’d stood like this many times before. They had.

Catherine mumbled into the bare flesh beneath her mouth, “If you crack a joke or make fun of me, I swear I’ll bite you.”

Kevin cupped the back of her head, pulled back, and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “It wouldn’t be the first time, would it? All right, no jokes, no making fun. Come on. Get in the car. Everything will be okay. I promise.”

Frowning up at him, Catherine said, “I have my own car here.”

Lightly squeezing her head, he said, “Kitty Cat, I told you to get in the car. Now get in!”

Wrenching herself out of his hands, nearly hissing like the cat he’d just called her, she said, “Don’t call me that! And how many times have I told you, you are not the boss of me!”

Grinning, he replied, “I’ve lost count. But I do remember that you were six years old the first time you said it.”

Grumbling, crossing her arms over her chest and staying her ground, she said, “For all the good it’s done me.”

Exasperated, Kevin said, “Fine, I didn’t want to do this here, but you leave me no choice.” With that, he pushed her back against the car, using the weight of his pelvis to hold her there, letting her feel one facet of his desire, but knowing he had to make her understand the extent of it. With a deep breath, he said, “You’ve been a part of my life since you were six, and I was eight. So I can speak with authority and say there is nothing wrong with you, Cat.” He paused. “I wanted to drive you to the park near where we lived when we were kids. I was fourteen years old the first time I told you I wanted to marry you, and that’s where we were. Since then I’ve told you four times. And each time, it was in that park.”

He felt her gasp and heard the wobble in her voice as she said, “I told you no jokes. You’re making fun of me again.”

Kevin leaned his forehead on hers. “Sweetheart, it’s never been a joke. But the way I feel about you scares me, so every time I tried to tell you I deliberately made it sound like I was teasing. But I was serious, even when I was fourteen. Every time, I was standing there with my heart in my palms, offering it to you.”

Catherine put her hands on his chest and pushed him away, looking up into his face. “What are you saying?”

He swallowed around his heart, which had taken up lodging in his throat. “I guess I still haven’t said it, have I? I love you, Cat. I want you to be my wife. And lately I’ve been thinking that, just maybe, you love me too.”

She punched him on the shoulder and then yelled in his face. “You moron! Of course I love you. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Laughing, Kevin grabbed her fist, and then pulled her tightly to him. Lowering his mouth to hers, he said, “I’ve been asking you to marry me since I was fourteen! What more do you want?”

The End

Disclaimer : I don’t own this story to view the original go here

Thank you for reading! 🙂
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Happy Valentines

(My) Identity Crisis

I never like getting personal about myself and what I go through, to other peeps… be it close friends/ distant aquitances. Why lie? I struggle! It’s not naturally in me to be vulnerable; to let my guard down… partly we could pay dues to my upbringing for this attribute but for the most part, well, weakness just ain’t a flattering look on me. NO, Sir

I gotta be strong;
Stand Tall, Chin up, Nose stiff;
Front like you all put together, when you a damn wrecking ball inside of you

But right about now we’re gonna tear down that wall (forget Trump’s plan to be erecting dem walls… Oh! its his inauguration period btw cheers to that 🙂 🙂 )

Point blank: I don’t know who (the hell) I am anymore! I lost touch of what I stood for, my ambitions and drive, what I believed in, my daily routines are jacked up, my healthy routines now dry bones of the past. I really have no sence of accountability or discipline since of late all I’ve been doing is living life as it came by. Yesterday…today… tomorrow… the day after… all have one thing in common that differentiates them, the date and day of the week, other than that they all basically the same! I’m stuck in this rut and it’s insane!!

As bloggers we need to keep ourselves updated with what’s buzzing the blogsphere. I pulled out this quote straight out of a post from a motivation and lifestyle blog I follow. It sufficiently summarises my predicaments…

“I’m drained and so very tired of all the anxiety, negativity and stress. Too often my mind is consumed with unforgiving thoughts, and every muscle in my body is full of tension. It hurts. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want to feel like I live in a whirlwind of constant exhaustion. I don’t want to just ‘get by’ day to day…” | #Word

That was an email from their coaching student, shared by consent (identity was withheld)

You know I can remember a time when I was soo full of life and was really excited about things and soo pro positivity! Now I’m just, Meh :p

I tend to do the exact same things each and every waking day, the same exact way. Like even when I do try to blend in variety it just stalls! Nothing changes. And being the rainbows of the zodiac (I’m gemini) ; we just can’t stand monotony for a bit! So the mere fact that I’ve been complacent in this state all this while, is frightening me!?!
“Excuse me Miss, who the heck ARE YOU?”
“Me?”

What’s an Identity Crisis?

I wasn’t quite sure if what I was feeling actually had a name… ’till I googled it. Is there any problem out there that google can’t solve??

Somewhere down there it read “… is also widely considered a psychological disorder in which an individual…”
Hold up! What? Those sound like White people problems!
Nope that ain’t it… we’ll stick to the standard definition given in that image(pic) above.

I be just confused ya’ll. I’m kinda lost in the moment.

Could be it’s because I’m still settling in to this new life?

Looking for the spot where I best fit in,

Trying to find common ground and a tribe I can relate to,

Or maybe because it’s just but our human nature to find faults in all else but the source… thats me

Yo! I NEED A BREAK, A TIME OUT!

I need to smell the air again, and be conscious of how it feels like. I wanna hear my heartbeats as I meditate and relax. I’m tired of being busy just being busy. I want back the time I used to spend on myself. The moments I felt calm and not nervous each time I was alone. I want people around when neccessary and not just so I may avoid feeling alone. I want back my independence; I want back the old me I knew and loved 🙂

Fingers crossed the next time I be here venting, I’ll be telling of how I successfully got to untick these checklists:

“Hopefully she’ll be her again”
“The one we knew?”
“The one we know.”

Hit that Like button and let me know what you think in the Comments section below.
Remember to keep Reading, Smiling And stay Joyous and Inspired Always 🙂 🙂 🙂

Darn!! …These silly things behind our ribs

“They know No Limits these stupid things behind our ribs”

A smile, a touch, a cuddle: a place of warmth out here in this winter
I lay evaded in your arms. Eyes locked from the start just as our hearts were
You hold my eyes for a moment or more
We stare deep and hard into each other’s eyes ; almost making mad love in hindsight
This sh** isn’t Real it was MAGIC.

*She threw her diamonds against the wall*
A slap to the face another uppercut ; a wail of sorrow … a broken heart!
Our love soo precious bitters fast
Bright Red dims to thick dark pasts
A love we once soo treasured we had’da let go
For to hold on any longer was just a No No No
Is this sh** Real or is it MAGIC?

And now I’m here popping pills getting high try’na numb
These feelings that I have of us happy playing dumb
We keep love in photographs
I need to get rid of them all
Burn! Burn! Burn! you to dust ashes and all
Someone tell me ‘What’s the use of it all’?
If I’ll cry myself a river by the end of it all…
I left you a message down the hallway
See you when you see me lifeless out by the driveway
This sh** wasn’t Real nor was it MAGIC!

                 

Charming 2017 good friends and reader 🙂
My New Year came with New Style don’t you agree? I tried channelling my inner Shakespeare, I hope you liked it… as a matter of fact Let me know what you think (: in the comments below!
This is my very first time crafting a poem piece, any feedback will be greatly helpfull!

I wish you all a Love that withstands waves this coming year 🙂